It seems that our tech-fueled, distance-oriented culture may finally prove beneficial. Sports games, concerts, tournaments, and other public institutions are now cancelled and closed to prevent the rapid spread of CoronaVirus. Essentially, local, state, and federal governements don’t want us to congregate and pass the sickness to each other. They want us to become hermits, so the virus can run its course in those already infected. Totally understandable.

Funny thing is, is that for decades Big Tech has been grooming us for this. With the arrival of desktop computers and smartphones, humanity’s social capital has been on the wane. Cultural warriors have decried our decaying social lives and how we no longer interact. It’s going to bring about the end of days!!!! they said.

The irony is, it’s precisely what will save us now. Hey, let’s start calling Steve Jobs a prophet. Wait…we already do? MY G-

Okay, enough of the silliness: The virus isn’t that serious if you’re below the age of 60. If you have a robust immune system, then chances are you’ll be fine. You’ll get flu-like symptoms and will feel crappy for a few days. Obviously, it’s advised to isolate yourself if you have it. That’s what Tom Hanks and his wife are doing, like two respectable citizens of the world.

The most important measure is to Wash. Your. Hands. You may unconsciously infect yourself by injesting something using your dirty hands. Last year I got sick 3 times in the span of 2 months, and that’s never happened to me before. Ever. It only stopped when I started using sanitizer wherever I went. A lot of public spaces and work places offer free sanitizer. Take full advantage of it to get the germs off your hands.

While the virus is totally preventable with an 80% survival rate, it’s still a legitimate threat to two significant demographics: Senior citizens and those with immuno-deficiencies. This is the reason why governments everywhere have to treat it like it’s the apocalypse. Just bear with it. It’ll be over.

At the moment, I’m doing fine. I’m not infected and like to think there’s a good chance I won’t be. I generally keep my distance, moreso than the average person. The worst way this pandemic is affecting me is my life savings. At the moment, my investments are dropping like a rock. The general principle they teach you about investments is to brave through every crisis of the stock market as the years go by. It’s important not to chicken out. When this crisis is over, the stock market will be on the mend and our savings will be the way it was before. You can take that to the bank.

Positivity, folks. It’s way more infectious than Corona will ever be.

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